Dear Gamecock Fans,
I feel your pain. I grew up a certified Clemson hater in Upstate South Carolina, so while I am not a “fan” of the Gamecocks, I do have an affinity for the Garnett and Black.  And with every heart wrenching loss, I thank God that I am not a fan. With every Hall of Fame couch that can’t turn things around, with every fumble in the end zone, I feel worse and worse for the teeming masses shaking the top of William Bryce Stadium.
The University of South Carolina might have the highest suffering fan base of any team in the country. And I say that as a Chicago Cubs fan. Because for years the Cubs were just plain awful, 20 games out of first place. But the Gamecocks seem to find fresh ways to build hope in their fans, only to slowly and painfully make all that hope go away. They’re the girl you are so desperately in love with, and she just won’t stop cheating on you. And she comes back to you, with new promise rings and sex addict counseling. And you take her back, forgetting about the time she blew four guys in one night, forgetting about how you walked in on her getting rammed by your boss, forgetting about how she left your engagement dinner to go screw the bartender at Ruby Tuesdays.  No matter what awful things she has done, God has punished you by not allowing you to fall out of love with this soulless, evil whore. And that soulless, evil whore, is the University of South Carolina football team.
So sorry.
4 Comments
I can’t blame u for feeling this way, but these kinds of times is what makes the Gamecocks the GAMECOCKS!! When we do WIN it will be sooooo lovely. It’s better when you wait…just ask your cubbies! Thanx
You have absolutely no business writing for public newspapers. For that matter writing or even speaking in public. You are rude and crude have have no sense of literary talent. Intelligent people write stories and analogies without crude language because they are intelligent enough to have better examples. Stop writing. You’re destroying the world.
Thank you so much for your comment, Appaled.
You must have a tough time going about your day being offended all the time. I feel sorry for you. I re-read my article and I didn’t use a a single profanity. Whore would be the closest thing. Are you that offended by the term whore? Some of Jesus’ best friends were whores.
As far as intelligent people not using profanity- I have to say you are sadly, sadly mistaken:
George Carlin, David Sedaris, Lewis Black, Shakespeare, the list goes on and on. These people are deemed by the vast majority of our society to be intelligent, forward thinkers, all cuss like sailors in their work. You can say you don’t enjoy profanity, but it is a part of our world and artists would be un-intelligent not to express that.
Thanks again for reading my stuff. And keep up the good work. You should find plenty to be outraged about.
David Lee Nelson
wow that’s hilarious.. everyone makes mistakes, things between her and I are different now. lol
seriously though, one day the gamecocks will pull it off.. one day. I’ll be there soaking up every bit of it! GO COCKS